AtsuiChokoreto

Stress stress stress. Yick. Finals, college application deadlines, Christmas presents to buy, other personal problems... Really, REALLY don't like this time of year. Can we cancel Christmas? Please? It would give me a much needed break.  (Christmas Break with the Christmas is just hectic and stressful for the most part). There's nothing I desperately want enough to warrant a whole big Christmas thing, ya know? But I'm just griping. Sorry. I keep perpetually re-realizing what a jerk I naturally am.  I've kept almost every profession of love others have written for me and when I re-read them, instead of feeling bad for the poor friend who h

I think I'm going to feel like shit for a while. Partly because I don't like what's been going on with me and partly because apparently, I am not to be trusted. Ever. I should have no right to privacy. I should keep my thoughts in my head--or can you access those too? I don't hate you for checking up on me or spying--whichever term you think is appropriate. I just really wish our trust wouldn't boil down to secretly "checking up" on each other to make sure the other one isn't practicing any infidelity or other things. Why can't we trust each other? I feel like this is my fault. I screwed up first. But you sank with me. How am I going to

Realized something strange today. I see about a dozen friends at school every day. I have chats with most of the ones I see, though sometimes they are fleeting conversations. What's odd is that even with all these friends I see, many of which I have lunch and classes with... I spend most of my days without feeling the warmth of a human touch. Flat out, no one touches me at school. If I am touched, it is almost always purely accidental. I think of my friends. I think several are just like me in this regard. I wonder why we're so isolated around people we're so familiar with. I've been around these people for years. Doesn't that seem odd? A